As my future wife and I were driving to our local government office’s Administration building this morning to pick up our marriage license, I got to thinking about the whole marriage industry; the hoops you need to jump through, the people who profit, and what you gain from it all.

In traditional means, first thing that needs to happen is the guy (usually) is the one to propose to the girl (usually). At this moment, you’re basically saying in public, “I want to go into business with you”. Of course there’s love, romance, a ceremony to invite family and friends to; all marriage really is, is a contract stating that you won’t fuck the other person over without legal cause. Romantic.

Let’s back-track a bit.

When I was a kid, it was never my dream to one day get married. I don’t think it was any guy’s dream, at least I hope not. My dream was to see a G.I. Joe make it from the top of the waterfall in my backyard all the way down to the bottom pool (I did it once and it ruled). So what’s with all these little girls that want to grow up to have a ‘Cinderella wedding’? Is it some conspiracy I don’t know about? Should I trash some Disney movies? Burn magazines? What?

My theory is that parents are to blame for subliminal pressure put on their daughters and society is to blame for the tantalizing image they entice girls with. Ya I ended that sentence with a preposition, so.

The American image of a girl in a white dress walking down the aisle with her dad to marry some guy is classic at best. I think marriages are more likely to end in divorce because of what this image represents. Dreams, passion, love, romance, everything a drama free soap opera could offer. Complacency sets in and you’re left with reality instead of ‘happily ever after’. I believe most people that have this fairy tale vision of their life end up disappointed with their reality and turn to the person they married and cast blame rather than owning up to society’s flaw.

All I know is, I’m a realist now. I was a dreamer. I did dream big, I still do, but only for things I feel I can control. Marriage is a partnership and a business of trust and happiness. And just like start-ups, 85% of marriages fail in the first 5 years.

You want my advice on marriage? Take some business classes.

Convert fractions into decimals instantly by doing a search. I’m lazy and rarely reach for the Unit Converter widget, so I just open up google and type in the fraction I need converted. Note: does not work in reverse.

It’s time now that I talk about something music related here. A band I’ve respected over the years and followed vehemently…

I own (not pirated) every Dandy Warhols release and have listened to countless Dandy songs on iTunes, and I gotta say this new record is a severe disappointment. When bought via iTunes it comes with a digital booklet that is.. in and of itself like the record, a shit sandwich.

And I gotta say they’ve been going downhill for quite a some time now, since Welcome to the Monkey House, which grew on me after a couple of listens, but at least it was a polished turd. I’ve been hesitant to buy anything new… and I had good reason. ..Earth.. came out in May, new to iTunes as of today, but wow. It’s like they’ve stopped trying or caring or maybe it’s some deep seeded joke of theirs to put shit like this out there.

The theme is campy as hell, filled with space-like jabber and sound effects to string along the album title, a thrown together concept. No songs on this record stand out in a decent way. #14 Musee D’Nougat is a 14:46 long crap fest. #3 Welcome to the Third World is Bowie-esk, with a good old school Rolling Stones’ faster Miss You loop groove/beat that’s sub-par of a straight rip off that could’ve been a little better.

None of the lyrics grabbed me in the least bit like Monkey House did. Monkey had some great wit and satire wrapped into the package that was like a big middle finger to the record industry and everyone in the industry system. I can’t say anything decent about this new record, nothing positive came from it. I hope they go back to trying on the next one.