Perfection is my enemy. I find myself wanting things, people, and situations to be perfect most of the time, and when things are not perfect and out of my control I can’t stand it. I get stressed, I can’t think straight, I obsess over it. In retaliation, I often think about how I got this way and what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I accept things for what they are? Why do I always have to try to think of something better? Did something happen to me when I was a kid for me to be this way? I seem to do this a lot when it’s not my job.

I’m a digital imager. On a weekly basis, and as my full time job, I digitally manipulate photographs to look their best. I’m given art directions and instructed by a piece of paper to trim fat off of bodies, fix skin tones, soften eye bags, lighten pours, smooth skin out, whiten eyes, replace backgrounds… I think you get the idea. I’ve been doing this since I was 19, so I think 8 years of taking these directions has corrupted me to a point where I believe I have OCD.. no wait.. I would call it a perfection complex. I don’t wash my hands 27 times, I don’t have to make sure my cats are still breathing in the middle of the night, and I don’t have to check double check and triple check to make sure I locked the door on the way out…. so yah, perfection complex.

I don’t think the word ‘perfect’ should exist.

I don’t think there’s a problem with wanting the best or something close to ‘perfect’. And who decides what is and what isn’t perfect?