As my future wife and I were driving to our local government office’s Administration building this morning to pick up our marriage license, I got to thinking about the whole marriage industry; the hoops you need to jump through, the people who profit, and what you gain from it all.
In traditional means, first thing that needs to happen is the guy (usually) is the one to propose to the girl (usually). At this moment, you’re basically saying in public, “I want to go into business with you”. Of course there’s love, romance, a ceremony to invite family and friends to; all marriage really is, is a contract stating that you won’t fuck the other person over without legal cause. Romantic.
Let’s back-track a bit.
When I was a kid, it was never my dream to one day get married. I don’t think it was any guy’s dream, at least I hope not. My dream was to see a G.I. Joe make it from the top of the waterfall in my backyard all the way down to the bottom pool (I did it once and it ruled). So what’s with all these little girls that want to grow up to have a ‘Cinderella wedding’? Is it some conspiracy I don’t know about? Should I trash some Disney movies? Burn magazines? What?
My theory is that parents are to blame for subliminal pressure put on their daughters and society is to blame for the tantalizing image they entice girls with. Ya I ended that sentence with a preposition, so.
The American image of a girl in a white dress walking down the aisle with her dad to marry some guy is classic at best. I think marriages are more likely to end in divorce because of what this image represents. Dreams, passion, love, romance, everything a drama free soap opera could offer. Complacency sets in and you’re left with reality instead of ‘happily ever after’. I believe most people that have this fairy tale vision of their life end up disappointed with their reality and turn to the person they married and cast blame rather than owning up to society’s flaw.
All I know is, I’m a realist now. I was a dreamer. I did dream big, I still do, but only for things I feel I can control. Marriage is a partnership and a business of trust and happiness. And just like start-ups, 85% of marriages fail in the first 5 years.
You want my advice on marriage? Take some business classes.
I couldn’t agree more.
And I’m happily married
.
But then, I was never a dreamer.
Comment by SarahZ — August 31, 2008 @ 8:12 pm